What is an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and Why I Talk about it
“Highly Sensitive People see the world not just with their eyes, but also with their hearts. Sure, they can be hurt easily, and those wounds can run deep. But they also love and inspire others like no one else can.”
~ Jan Granneman ~
You may have heard me talk about sensitive souls or HSPs, and perhaps you’ve wondered what I mean, and why I care.
Let’s dive into that a little bit today. It’s a long article, please get a beverage and enjoy the reading.
First, I’m super aware that there are so many trends and buzz words these days, and I sometimes feel irritated by all the new terms we’re supposed to ‘salute’. I’ve also written articles about how hanging on to a label can hold us back. I’m attempting a balanced view on this topic.
I still want to talk about this, though, because somewhere beyond my desk is a gentle soul who is still judging themselves for ‘being so sensitive’. Maybe that’s you, and maybe it’s a friend or family member. I want them to hear they’re not weird!
Background
The world of ‘introvert’ entered my work world around 2013 when I was preparing for my book launch (No Problem. The Upside of Saying No). My talented friend and colleague, Alison Gitelson, helped me create a book talk I could deliver in various lengths for different purposes. She pointed me to Susan Caine’s (then recent) TED Talk about introversion.
I loved Susan’s talk, and started realising how much of an introvert I was. I felt like I’d ‘come home’ and could stop trying to change myself to be more outgoing!
What a relief. As I read more about introvert traits, I noticed that most of my clients were introverts too… and in 2015 I decided to focus on working with introverts.
Next iteration
Over the years, I noticed particular traits in my clients as I worked with their Gallup Strengths. I came across the term “Empath” in 2008, when I attended an Advanced Quantum Touch course and the trainer, who could see energy, mentioned I am one. I rushed home to Google the term, it was new to me. Google then wasn’t yet what it is now… I only found one or 2 websites referring to it, and put it aside for a bit.
Then, somewhere along the way in all my reading, I came across the term ‘HSP’ or Highly Sensitive Person.
Though there are some overlaps, an Empath and HSP are not the same thing. I read a lot, joined multiple FB groups of Introverts, HSPs and Empaths… and left many of them just as fast.
I started noticing how many introverts, Empaths and HSPs felt misunderstood, a bit victim-y, and ‘life on Earth is just too hard for them’. I didn’t want to be in that camp!
My belief and mission
I firmly believe that sensitive souls (a collective term I use to describe all 3 groups together) are here for an important purpose. And if we hide because “It’s too hard on Earth”, no one will benefit from our presence.
So it became my mission to support sensitive souls to be and feel stronger in themselves, to embrace and love their sensitivity, to have courage in the face of challenges, to learn to recognize and voice their needs, and still be the gentle, caring souls they are.
Never, ever to ‘buck up and stop being so sensitive’. Instead — to be more resilient, be able to regulate their emotions with more ease, so they can show up in the world in the places where they are needed.
There’s never been a time where caring, gentle people are more needed than now.
And that’s why I wrote the article Why I Work with Sensitive Introverts and why it Matters. I want gentle souls to know that they matter, they make the world a better place and if they disappear, the world will not benefit from their beautiful gifts.
So now, you have the background about how I started in this niche area. Next, let’s look at what I mean when I talk about a sensitive soul.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?
Like any topic, there are different definitions and terms from various sources. In full transparency, I asked ChatGPT to compile the next few paragraphs, so I could get on with writing about personal examples and stories.
A Brief Summary
** start of quote from ChatGPT
An HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) is someone with a more sensitive nervous system, meaning they process stimuli — such as sounds, emotions, and social dynamics — more deeply than the average person. The term was coined by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron in the 1990s, and she estimated that about 15–20% of the population has this trait.
Common Characteristics of HSPs:
- Deep Processing: They think deeply about things and reflect on experiences more than others.
- Easily Overstimulated: Loud noises, busy environments, or too much sensory input can be overwhelming.
- Emotional Sensitivity: They feel emotions more intensely, both their own and others’.
- Strong Empathy: They often pick up on others’ emotions and moods easily.
- Noticing Subtleties: They are highly aware of details that others might overlook.
This trait is not a disorder but rather a natural personality trait found in many species, including humans. While it comes with challenges (e.g., feeling easily overwhelmed or emotionally exhausted), it also has strengths like deep intuition, creativity, and strong emotional intelligence.
Different terms that are used in different circles:
Scientific & Psychological Terms:
- Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) — This is the official psychological term for high sensitivity, coined by Dr. Elaine Aron.
- Environmental Sensitivity (ES) — Used in scientific studies to describe a person’s heightened responsiveness to their environment, including social, emotional, and physical factors.
- Dandelion-Orchid Hypothesis — A theory suggesting that “orchid” people (HSPs) thrive in supportive environments but struggle in harsh ones, while “dandelion” people are more resilient regardless of conditions.
- Differential Susceptibility — A related concept in psychology suggesting that some people (often HSPs) are more deeply affected by both positive and negative environments.
Wellness & Personality-Related Terms:
- Empath — While not identical to an HSP, empaths tend to absorb emotions and energy from others more deeply, which overlaps with HSP traits.
- Intuitive — Some HSPs are described as highly intuitive, meaning they pick up on subtle emotional and energetic cues.
- Deep Feeler — A more casual term describing people who experience emotions intensely.
- Gentle Soul — A phrase used to describe someone with a soft, deeply feeling nature.
- Neurodivergent — Some HSPs identify with the broader concept of neurodiversity, though HSPs are not classified as neurodivergent in the same way as autism or ADHD.
** end of Quote from ChatGPT
Numerous books and websites provide extensive information on this topic. I provide a list of resources at the end of this article.
I love that Sensitivity is now an area of research, with a symposium every year to bring scientists and researchers together. In May 2025, it’s being held in England, in a city close to me, and I’ve booked to attend. In 2023, I attended the online Symposium.
A definition by current Sensitivity Researchers
Here is a beautifully simple explanation from the SensitivityResearch.com website:
“After more than 20 years of academic research, it is clear that sensitivity is an established, recognised and empirically verified human trait.”
And elsewhere from the same website:
“It can be easily observed that some people are more sensitive than others. Researchers define sensitive people as those who are more strongly affected by what they experience.
This can include how one is influenced by the physical environment but also social relationships, work conditions and upbringing, to give just some examples. Although everyone is sensitive to an extent, research has shown that people tend to fall into three different groups along a spectrum of sensitivity with about 30% classed as low, 40% as medium and 30% as high in sensitivity.
Importantly, although highly sensitive people are more likely to struggle under stressful circumstances, they are also especially receptive to positive and supportive experiences. Those who are low in sensitivity, on the other hand, tend to be more resilient when facing adversity but also benefit less from positive experiences.”
How does a person become Highly Sensitive?
It’s not a matter of having difficult experiences and then becoming ‘more sensitive’. There is a complex interplay between genetics and the experiences we have in life. It’s clear from the research that high sensitivity can already be detected in unborn babies.
So… 30% of people are born with an already-more-sensitive nervous system. And then, the experiences they have will be more strongly felt and they will create more meanings from it.
If they have painful experiences, the meanings (e.g. “I’m not lovable as I am”) will more negatively impact them.
The opposite is true, too — positive experiences for sensitive souls create a more positive outcome than non-sensitives. (e.g. “I’m lovable just as I am.”)
Is an HSP more reactive to triggers?
Absolutely anyone can be highly ‘reactive’ to triggers they acquired through life experiences. Yet not everyone has a ‘highly sensitive nervous system’ from before birth.
I wrote an article to point out the differences.
The difference between being highly sensitive, and being highly reactive to triggers.
“Stop being so sensitive!”
If you’re an HSP, you might have heard this many times as you grew up, or even as an adult. From a parent, a sibling, a friend, a partner, a boss, a colleague…
It’s tiresome, isn’t it? It’s like telling someone with blue eyes “Oh for Pete’s sake, just get brown eyes, will you?!”
It doesn’t work that way. We can’t just stop a nervous system from doing what it is designed to do. We’re not snowflakes, weak, or ‘too anything’.
And! There’s another piece to consider.
Though this might not be popular amongst the sensitive crowd, I imagine it can be tiring for non-sensitives to have to deal with our sensitivities. I know, because I’ve been on both sides of the playing field. I have several people in my immediate family who are HSPs, and several who are not.
It means careful, gentle treading on many levels and yes, it can be exhausting. Because we love each other, we’re prepared to do the work to navigate the tricky territory.
I feel strongly that it’s our homework as HSPs to deal with and heal our triggers. So others don’t have to tiptoe around our sensitive natures, and we can have fulfilling, mature relationships.
Furthermore, it’s also up to us to increase our capacity to work with and interact with the non-sensitives around us. If we don’t, we suffer (they don’t) and we cannot bring our gifts to the table.
And Heaven knows, Mother Earth needs gentleness right now.
HSP Resources
A few resources to support you if you’re learning about sensitivity.
Sensitivity Questionnaires:
Sensitivity tests — Sensitivity Research
Sensitivitätstypen-Test (the test is in English!)
Are You Highly Sensitive? — The Highly Sensitive Person
HSP Test: Am I a Highly Sensitive Person?
Research about Sensitivity:
My Articles about Sensitivity
Why I Work with Sensitive Introverts and why it Matters
What Embracing Slow Moments can do for HSPs
Overwhelm and Highly Sensitive People (HSPs)
Highly Sensitive People and Chronic Pain
Sensitive souls: How to support others in difficult times
Sensitive soul — where do you draw the line of caring?
Books:
Full disclosure: I have not read every single one of these books. They had good reviews and you can of course make up your own mind!
The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Survive and Thrive When The World Overwhelms You (I have read)
Neurosensitivity: The Power of Highly Sensitive Persons (Dr Patrice Wyrsch) (I have read)
Sensitive is the New Strong: The Power of Empaths in an Increasingly Harsh World (I love Anita Moorjani, and this is more about Empaths)
Websites:
27 Best HSP Blogs & Websites — (A Beginner’s Guide) — HSP Tools
The Highly Sensitive Person Website by Dr. Elaine N. Aron | HSP Tools
Career / Business Coach for Introverts and HSPs — Val Nelson (this is a dear friend who helps with career coaching for sensitive souls)
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